Shit. I don't know.

I believe the forest is my body and its rivers and lakes the blood in my veins. These are all that keep me breathing. There are things here that I love, with no rhyme or reason. Fandoms, art, and other ramblings of a midnight wanderer. 

rotifers:

madsunrises:

I really can’t stand ignorant folks who claim butterflies are “so pretty, but moths are just icky”. I’m just sitting here, looking at moths like…

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y’all been brainwashed if you don’t think moths are some beautiful creatures.

(via witchydays)

There is a man. And he is the best man that I know. And I am without him and it’s because of that that I’ve forgotten how to breathe. I thought I knew what sadness was, or pain or hurt. I felt confident in my knowledge of that vast dark emptiness. But now I know it truly and I cannot fill the emptiness or find my way through it. There is a sadness that comes gushing out, the marrow of my bones. Seeping through my pores. All while the bones that hold that marrow are crumbling to bits and dust. There is a man I know. And he is the best man there is. And maybe if I can find him again he will help me remember to forget all of this.

I hope you’re reading these. And see that I don’t want this to be it. I know this summer was hell and hard and horrible but you know that that person is not all of who I am. You know the person that I am better than most people. In two years we had three months that were terrible and difficult but we are better and bigger than that. So I’m going to keep trying.

I do not want to apart from you. Ever. I don’t want this to be it. There isn’t a legitimate reason. This isn’t the answer. This is why communication was so important to me.

And my whole life came crashing down around me.
I don’t know how to wake up without you. Hell. I don’t know how to fall asleep without you.
All those stupid little things we never think about.
First contact in my phone.
In case of emergencies call.
The mail key.
The house key.
Our coffee cups.
I love you more than life itself and now it’s gone.
I was already a husk, the bare bones.
And now I’m just the dust.
I don’t want to be swept under the rug.

I am at a loss.

There is a loss.

A new emptiness, and it is palpable. 

And dark.

And I cannot navigate it.

This is a place that I have never been.

Repeatedly, over and over and over again

I have asked the questions.

And laid myself out bare and vulnerable.

Yet over and over and over again 

I am met with evasion, diversion and condescension.

My heart is rapidly breaking.

With my spirit close on its heels.

Slowly I am becoming a husk,

The bare bones of what this earth intended for me to be.

There was trust and now there is confusion

Hesitation

And never ending questioning.

Not one straight answer has been uttered.

Despite the endless attempts of inquiry.

There is a loss.

And it is palpable.

And the silence, it speaks volumes.

But it is not my silence.  

*do not alter or delete this content. 

Everything is hard. It feels like nothing ever gets easier. But I’m going to just keep going and hope that when I’m older things will change. Hoping that tomorrow will be that perfect day. Because lately it’s just been sadness, pain and tears. But like I said I’m sure there’s something awesome waiting for me. And I will be waiting and hunting for it.

oliviatheelf:

lizywkim:

starryeyedlunatic:

fucksociety95:

this picture should have more then the amounts of notes it has, this shows us that not ever thing is “picture perfect” and that behind that smile and those eyes there is fear . So i beg you to please reblog this instead of a pair of shoes, someone smoking a blunt, and clothes … because this picture is literally worth 1,000 words 

This is insanely powerful.

As someone who grew up in an abusive household, I will never fucking fail to reblog this. People pull bullshit all the time over people getting abused. They make it to where it’s covered up, the victim’s fault, or they don’t care about it. This is happening RIGHT NOW and could be happening to your own neighbor, mother, sister, brother, grandparents, teachers, mail-deliverer. Anyone.  IT is a nightmare. 

(Source: awayfromearth, via i-like-to-pretend-im-cute)

This was once the most common representation of female bodies. The rolls of fat and pudgy bellies existed along with thick thighs and broad hips. Some of those bodies were slim, some were chubby, some were fat, but they weren’t stretched out and smoothed out in Photoshop. They acted like bodies do, they looked real and believable. We lost that somewhere along the way, when people in the fashion business started wiping out any inconvenient fold, making us think they don’t exist and to have them is a blasphemy. Maybe it’s about time we remember they are perfectly normal and everyone has them, sometimes or all the time, no matter skinny or fat.

W-A Bouguereau: Elegy, Guilliaume Seignac: Young Woman Naked, Guillaume Seignac: Psyche, Jean-Jacques Henner: Salome, Peter Paul Rubens: Venus in front of the mirror, James Pradier: Odalisque, Guillaume Seignac: In the forrest, Sebastiano Ricci: Venus and Cupid, G. L. Bernini: Pluto and Proserpina.

(Source: dearjeeling, via iaintbovvored)

thecarvingwitch:

prokopetz:

sixsaltysweets:

I’M DEAD

Fun fact: if you know your feline body language, you’ll notice that the lynx is deferring to the housecat. As far as these two are concerned, the housecat is the higher-ranking cat.

OH MY GOSH

thecarvingwitch:

prokopetz:

sixsaltysweets:

I’M DEAD

Fun fact: if you know your feline body language, you’ll notice that the lynx is deferring to the housecat. As far as these two are concerned, the housecat is the higher-ranking cat.

OH MY GOSH

(Source: 4gifs, via sproutin)